I have probably had one of the greatest lives and actually quite weird compared to most people. I have done many things in my life and never, but a few times, traveled farther than 50 miles to do it.
I love to learn. It's who I am and what I do. No novels for me! Volumes of learning materials. I continually have to grow and learn. I have always felt that I am "Autistic"! I am always the one that stands alone, off somewhere, doing, learning. Not too social, not interested in matters of vanity. As a matter of fact I still wear some of my old tops from highschool...lol lol lol..:) I have never been clothes shopping in my life. Never had girlfriends per se. I have many dear friends, loyal to a fault for many years, but do very little with them. They come to visit me, and I love having them, and treat them like royalty.
In my area we have just "Dive Bars", never been in a one! lol lol :) Most of my husbands friends from highschool are dead, seriously, because they were always in these bars. One died from getting socked in the head with a two by four, three were hit by the train walking home drunk, some died from drug overdoses, one was found wrapped up in a carpet, laying by the side of the road, and the list goes one. Most of them died from drunk driving also. So bars are ixnay for me, and my husband. So I have little to none in the social department.
Always adored jobs associated with working with animals, or in the background working. I am not competative, nor feel the need to prove myself to anyone.
When I worked at the Monestary I had finally found my "niche"! When I walked over that threshold into what I call "The Perfect" place for me.
Beautifully inspiring, well educated, Art appreciators, and they were so kind and loving to everyone of my loved ones. It was a blissful environment. It turned my desire to be part of the "Secular World" up side down.
I had many truly awestruck experiences there. One's where the "Divine" connect with the "Mortal" world. Not with firecrackers, fan fare, or parades; just subtle, quiet, like a whisper in the breeze. I had finally been excepted in an environment that showed me who I really am, not what the world tells me I am. Being Autistic is not easy in a world that absolutely trys to crush those who are not like everyone else. I was always put down my whole life for just being me. I finally realized that God created each and everyone one of us, with a divine purpose, or mission. Some to do really great things, and some to do things more subtle, little things. I finally realized that it is really important how we impact someone else's life, and at times we can really hurt people, or maybe even destroy them by truly assenine behaviors. Not meant, but none the less, responsible for. I woke up to reality! That being Autistic is not bad, I am just different. The Monks loved me for me. I didn't have to fight to be excepted, they just did.
I am a very hard worker, and give it my all. When my wonderful boss Br. Mark, was transfered to another job, he gave me a card, I was shocked! When I read it it said, "Thank you for all your good works, and for the great peace you brought me. Thank you for being you, and for giving your job 300%"! OMG, I was shocked. Never in the Secular world would you get that. He had great love for George, my Mother, George's Mother.....it was a beautiful world. When my mother was dying of Cancer, they were there for her....a million percent! She had a send off to her next life, like no other. A whole community came together to celebrate her life, in a truly astounding way! They were there for her even to her gravesite. I will never forget it! Over and over they all commented on her name "Grace', and said, "She was truly an example of her name, a woman filled with grace, love, warmth, and joy"!
I will never forget her last words to me, "I have been visited by the Angel of Death, she hugged me, told me how much she loved me, and then said, "I am going home now and I am not afraid now" She died with a beautiful smile on her lovely face and left us.
When we were at the funeral parlor, George went downstairs to get some coffee, he came upstairs by me and said, "OMG Maureen, your Mother just talked to me, she is here"! I have had many spiritual experiences in my life, miracles happend all the time, we just don't see them. The Monks taught us to see, what is real. Not the Secular way, what you are told!
Love to all, and I do mean it!
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Love to you too :) How many, 3 got killed by the train????? In my family back in the early days, a lot of my uncles and grandfathers died the same way...
ReplyDeleteI don't know but I feel it was such a waste of life. They were walking home drunk, and got run over...just last week they pulled someone off that tripped on the tracks while he was drunk, and was passed out on the tracks. I don't know, but it is unsettling to me, almost as if it's some weird paranormal thingy! They don't say that, it just seems so odd to us!
ReplyDeleteHi!
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Maureen - you are amazing. :)
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